I Can't Be On Time

Words and music ©1990 by Dave Caruso

"Hurry up, would you please?" I said
But I--I can't be on time
It's a matter of life or death
But I--I can't be on time
I've tried and I've tried
But I can't do it
--Tried, tried, to get down to it
Roll me over and call me dead
But I can't be on time

When I'm on schedule the bus is late
But I--I can't be on time
Someone's pissed cause I made them wait
But I--I can't be on time
I've tried and I've tried
To put myself to it
--Tried, tried but I can't do it
Numbers, dates I can't keep straight
No, I can't be on time

If there's a heaven I hope it's waiting
Considering what you said
You said I'd be late for my own funeral
Instead of living it up I'd just be dead

I'm learning all about getting a headache
When all I wanna get is ahead
And it ain't hard to figure out
That I would never be late if I stayed in bed

One step forward and three steps back
Stressing up for a heart attack
I've tried and I've tried
To put myself to it
--Tried, tried but I can't do it
There's no ignoring the simple fact
That I can't be on time

If there's a heaven I hope it's waiting
Considering what you said
You said I'd be late for my own funeral
Instead of living it up I'd just be dead